Sunday, June 30, 2013

The Uncertainty of Life

I know it's been a while since I've posted, but over the past few months life has thrown some high speed curve balls at my girlfriend and I that have required my complete attention. In fact, the material in this post has been on the back burner for a couple months, coming to fruition only after the thoughts have had ample time to gestate in my mind.  You may be asking yourself, what kind of content would be in a post with the title "The Uncertainty of Life"?  I assure you that right now I am fit as a fiddle, so I am definitely not here to retire the blog in any way, shape or form. Instead, I wanted to share my situation with you all to let you know what's been going on. While I don't normally open myself up to be scrutinized by the public, I figured it was high time that I explain to you all what has been going on in my life during the past 3 years.

My girlfriend of over 10 years had first started experiencing the onset of severe digestive problems back in the Spring of 2010. She started going on a diet avoiding all foods that contained, gluten, refined sugar, soy and dairy, in addition to taking nutritional supplements that would aid her digestion. After taking multiple nutritional supplements for a period of almost 9 months with almost no improvement, we determined that she would need to see a conventional  medical doctor to go through a series of tests. These tests revealed that all of her organs were in good condition, and that there was a slight possibility that she had Celiac disease.They recommended that she set up an appointment with a gastrointestinal specialist to determine whether or not this was the case, and he recommended that she have an endoscopy procedure.

After undergoing an endoscopy procedure in the Fall of 2011 which revealed that she didn't have Celiac disease, we sat there scratching our heads. What could this condition be that was taking over her body, and preventing her from carrying on a normal, healthy life? Would we ever get to a point where we could look back on this past year, and feel grateful that we were beyond the challenges that were presented to us?

During the first year of experiencing these severe digestive problems, my girlfriend was still able to show up to her classes at a local university. Eventually, though, her body became weaker, and she began to experience periods of time where her energy was completely depleted on top of the ongoing digestive issues. Soon, she made the very difficult decision to postpone her education while she focused on recovering from this illness.

Over the past 2 years, I have been financially supporting the two of us on a low-income technical help desk job. Until last December, I didn't feel that we could move forward with any treatment, as I felt that my paychecks were barely covering our general household expenses. With a mounting debt, and a dwindling savings account due to the cost of living on one income, I started to feel angry at the universe for putting us through this, which eventually led to a heightened depression, anxiety and stress that all of this was on my shoulders. We needed to think creatively, so we decided to enter the world of crowd-funding through a service called GoFundMe. With the help of friends and family, we were able to raise the necessary money for my girlfriend to start the first phase of her treatment, and to pay for necessary medical bills and supplements.

The doctor who has been administering her treatment plan since last October believes that she has a condition called chronic fatigue which includes symptoms such as digestive cramping, dizziness, nausea, sleeplessness, depletion of energy, etc. Due to this condition, she has been incapable of holding down a job of any kind as it prevents her from walking for more than 1/4 mile at a time, standing for longer than a couple minutes at a time, and driving a car dependably.  Her doctor is confident that she can get past this as long as she stays dedicated to the treatment plan that he is proposing for the next couple months.  

Consequently, we will need to raise some more money so she can start the next phase of her treatment. We currently only have the cost for one of the two treatments ($1000), but we will also be needing help outside of this initial cost. If you have a Facebook account, please consider sharing the following page with your friends so we can spread awareness throughout the community, and also consider making a donation to our GoFundMe site below. Please note that you can donate and remain anonymous if you don't want other people to know that you donated.

Getting Verity Well

Go Fund Me site


As you can imagine, dealing with long-term illness is not an easy thing. The partner of the person experiencing the illness feels helpless at times, and as time marches on, can get to a point of feeling desperation and hopelessness. I wanted to take back everything that I ever said to her in the early stages of our courtship. If I could turn back the hands of time, I would go back to the stage when she was vibrant and healthy to let her know how much she meant to me. I wouldn't argue about petty things that have absolutely no consequence to our lives, and I would let her know that I have confidence in her that she has the talent and capability to do anything that she desires. I wouldn't criticize her taste in music or movies, and I would celebrate the fact that she likes different things.

But, alas, despite what the latest CGI blockbuster in the theaters tells us, there is no magical time machine that can take us back to a day and age where life was great and everything made sense. My girlfriend and I have certainly had our fair share of disagreements and tough times throughout the years, but she is truly the love of my life. She has been there for me though thick and thin, fighting the good fight against all adversity, and we have shared many special moments with each other throughout the years.

I wanted to present this story to you all because, at times, I have felt a sense of community through this blog that encourages me to take the next necessary step. Thanks for listening.